The Belle and the Beard

Jasper-Anne Cleary's guide to salvaging your life when you find yourself publicly humiliated, out of work, and unemployable at 35-not to mention newly single: 1.

The Belle and the Beard

The Belle and the Beard

Jasper-Anne Cleary's guide to salvaging your life when you find yourself publicly humiliated, out of work, and unemployable at 35-not to mention newly single: 1. Run away. Seriously, there's no shame in disappearing. Go to that rustic old cottage your aunt left you. Look out for the colony of bats and the leaky roof. Oh, and the barrel-chested neighbor with shoulders like the broad side of a barn. Definitely look out for him. 2. Stop wallowing and stay busy. It doesn't matter whether you know how to bake or fix things around the house. Do it anyway. Dust off your southern hospitality and feed that burly, bearded neighbor some pecan pie. 3. Meet new people. Chat up the grumpy man-bear, pretend to be his girlfriend when his mother puts you two on the spot, agree to go as his date to a big family party. Don't worry-it's only temporary. 4. Cry it out. Screwing up your life entitles you to wine, broody-moody music, and uninterrupted sobbing. 5. Get over it all by getting under someone. Count on your fake boyfriend to deliver some very real action between the sheets. 6. Move on. The disappearing act, the cottage, the faux beau-none of it can last forever. Linden Santillian's guide to surviving the invasion when a hell-in-heels campaign strategist moves in next door: 1. Do not engage. There is no good reason you should chop her wood, haul her boxes, or pick her apples. 2. Do not accept gifts, especially not the homemade ones. Disconnect the doorbell, toss your phone over a bridge, hide in the basement if you must, but do not eat her pie. 3. Do not introduce her to your friends and family. They'll favor her over you and never let you forget it. 4. Do not intervene when she's crying on the back porch. Ignore every desire to fix the entire world for her. By no means should you take her into your arms and memorize her peach-sweet curves. 5. Do not take her to bed, even if it's just to get her out of your system. 6. Do not, under any circumstances, fall in love with her. Warning: This hot, modern take on Beauty and the Beast includes a meet-burglary, an immortal cat, a biohazard of a banana bread, a meddling mother, fancy toast, and a temporary fling that starts feeling a little too permanent.

More Books:

The Belle and the Beard
Language: en
Pages: 440
Authors: Kate Canterbary
Categories:
Type: BOOK - Published: 2021-04-23 - Publisher:

Jasper-Anne Cleary's guide to salvaging your life when you find yourself publicly humiliated, out of work, and unemployable at 35-not to mention newly single: 1. Run away. Seriously, there's no shame in disappearing. Go to that rustic old cottage your aunt left you. Look out for the colony of bats
The Belle of the Season
Language: en
Pages: 478
Authors: Harriet Lewis
Categories:
Type: BOOK - Published: 1890 - Publisher:

Books about The Belle of the Season
The Works of William Makepeace Thackeray ...
Language: en
Pages:
Authors: William Makepeace Thackeray
Categories:
Type: BOOK - Published: 1879 - Publisher:

Books about The Works of William Makepeace Thackeray ...
The drama's levée: or, A peep at the past. Blue Beard. The sleeping beauty in the wood. Beauty and the beast. The white cat. Fortunio, and his seven gifted servants. The fair one with the golden locks. The drama at home; or, An evening with Puff. Graciosa and Percinet
Language: en
Pages:
Authors: James Robinson Planché
Categories: Children's plays
Type: BOOK - Published: 1879 - Publisher:

Books about The drama's levée: or, A peep at the past. Blue Beard. The sleeping beauty in the wood. Beauty and the beast. The white cat. Fortunio, and his seven gifted servants. The fair one with the golden locks. The drama at home; or, An evening with Puff. Graciosa and
The Works of William Makepeace Thackeray: The Virginians
Language: en
Pages:
Authors: William Makepeace Thackeray
Categories: English literature
Type: BOOK - Published: 1884 - Publisher:

Books about The Works of William Makepeace Thackeray: The Virginians

Popular All Time

The Unhoneymooners
Big City Crush
To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five
People We Meet on Vacation
The Blackthorne, Inc. Novels, Volume 1
Black Velvet
Freed
Loud Mouth
The Ex Talk
From Blood and Ash
The Butler Cove Series
The Good Luck Charm
Real Men Knit
The Crown of Gilded Bones
It Ends with Us
Weekend Wife
The Spark
Neighbors Like That

Recent Books: